Mathoms, etc.

Hurley: Dude, Nikki's dead.
Sawyer: Who the hell's Nikki?

Sawyer pours out Paulo's bottled water)
Hurley: Dude, what are you doing?
Sawyer: Two people are dead. You ever think they might have been poisoned?
Hurley: That's evidence! You're messing up the crime scene!
Sawyer: Crime scene? There a forensics hatch I don't know about?

Hurley: Apologize for calling me all those names.
Sawyer: Ugh. I'm really sorry I called you rotund.
Hurley: Really?
Sawyer: Oh, god! You're worse than a girl! Come on, let's, uh, spread the love. (edit)

Sawyer: You know how for three days, ten hours and 15 minutes I ain't allowed to use nicknames?
Hurley: Yeah.
Sawyer: Well, you Sir Hugo, are rotund, annoying, and you're ruining my damn view! How's that for amends?

Charlie: Hey. Whoa, that's too much water. It's gonna be all soggy.
Hurley: It's oatmeal, dude. It's supposed to be soggy.
Sawyer: Well, if it ain't three men and a baby. (pause) I counted Hugo twice. Oh, what? Come on, I used your name.

Sayid: You said earlier if you told me everything you knew, I'd kill you....I'm going to test the validity of that statement.
Sawyer: He means talk.
Juliet: We don't have time for this.
Sawyer: We cleared our schedules. We got all the time in the world.

Sun: Trust her? She's one of them!
Jack: Not anymore. They left her behind.
Charlie: Oh yeah? Where'd they go?
Jack: I told you. I don't know.
Sawyer: Maybe we better ask her.
Jack: She doesn't know either.
Sawyer: Well, here's a wacky idea. Let's sic our resident Iraqi on her. Let him do what he does and then see what she says.
Sayid: No, I don't do that anymore.
Sawyer: Well, ain't that convenient.

(To Jack and Juliet, who were talking)
Sawyer: Hope I'm not interrupting. You two arguing over who's your favorite Other?

Sawyer: Did you tell him?
Kate: Did I tell who what?
Sawyer: You know, did you tell the Doc ... about you and me?
Kate: No, but he knows. He saw us in one of their surveillance monitors.
Sawyer: I thought you said the camera was broken.
Kate: Well, they had another camera.
Sawyer: Perverts.

Sawyer: You need me to make you a mix tape?
Kate: Yeah, why don't you do that?

(About the ping-pong table)
Sawyer: If we don't play every 108 minutes, the island is going to explode!

Sawyer: You want me to walk you home?
Kate: It's five tents, I think I'll make it.
Sawyer: You sure? I gotta pee anyway.
Kate: That is so romantic.
Tom: Okay. I give up.
(Sawyer shoots him in the chest)
Sawyer: That's for taking the kid off the raft.
Hurley: Dude, it was over. He surrendered.
Sawyer: I didn't believe him.