Mathoms, etc.

5.18.2008 Sunday

Got 4-5 hrs of sleep despite my right hand. Of course I get all these texts so early in the morning. Yesterday I was texting Debbie/Lora at 430 AM. So they're asking me why I'm not asleep. Deb yells at me to GO BACK TO SLEEP! I told her I get woken up anyway for vital signs. BTW, Ellyn M. a patient called me at SFH yesterday before I left. She asked if her complaining gave me a headache I said yes of course. She works near here and said she'll stop in during her lunch break. That'd be nice.

A resident stopped in at 530 AM. Apparently I couldn't follow instructions to look at his nose and tell him how many fingers he's holding up. I blame my just woken up state. There was a day at SFH when the nurse was checking my orientation and I accidentally said it was March but meant to say May! I knew what month it is. Of course the sign in my room saying the wrong date didn't help.

I didn't get TV. I actually fell asleep this morning after I returned phone calls. Spoke with Keith and Dionne. It's easier to talk to friends. Mom/Dad/ Lynn are harder. I vow to be like Jen M---never complain about my plight. Moment of weakness this morning though...I texted Pinky/Loren/Charles how sick I was of hospital smells. Loren called this morning, much appreciated. Charles wanted to know if I was post-op yet. A resident came in and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out here or go home pending Dr. Bruce's return. Course I said home so I could watch the kids' show. He's going to talk to surgeon. Another resident came in and I got more info from him. 4-5 hours surgery, general anesthesia, probably sitting up, 3-4 days in hospital. Back to work as soon as I can. Even drew me a picture of the tumor on one of those calf pressure thingies. It's in the meninges and not in the brain like how it appears to be. They'll use either a vertical or U-shaped incision., may have to cover with an acrylic material. They think with my hair, it'll just cover it right back up. I felt better after the talk. I asked if I was seizing, he said no. They haven't been checking my blood sugar either like they did at SFH. Maybe because they know it's from the meds. I still try to watch my sweets. My roomie Dulce's blood sugar has been sky high.

I met Dulce's family today. Her pump kept making noise so I looked for our nurse Colette. They said they called at least 40 mins ago and no one's come. Her family said Dulce is Dominican, doesn't speak English. Her son-in-law's Puerto Rican. She had headaches for ten years, and docs just kept giving her meds. No scans. She already had a tumor removed and she went home. The site's not closing. They're shunting her tomorrow. I ambushed Dr. Gigante, an Anthony Rapp look-alike, after he spoke to them. I asked if he was coming to see me or if had news for me. He said they had a long discussion about me this morning, and the tumor was big and they'd just let me hang out here. If I get real antsy, page him. The scheduling office doesn't open until tomorrow at 9 AM. If they can schedule me early in the week, I stay. If not, he said I could go home first. I just want a shower! It's been 3 days! My hair's greasy.

Walked around the unit: great view of the Hudson River, George Washington Bridge. I'm in the heights! Wish I had my camera.

Noticed family members sleeping on couches.

Parents and Lynn are coming. I told them not to because of the rigors of travel, the expense, plus the fire clean up and move to the new house. But I know you can't stop them. They'd feel better being here.

Rose and her dad stopped in. I didn't even know he was in town. Nice visit. They stayed until Cecile and Euge came, then they all went to dinner at Hop Kee. Wish I could go. Blah hospital food.

Mom called because Dad was asking about the titas' visit. I didn't mention the snubbing. Apparently they're miffed that Cecile didn't email them. And it's not as if they won't get the news, they all live in one house. Poor Mom, she was so distressed. The ContraTitas are at it again. I spoke to Dad and got annoyed because T. Cesar said the tumor could just be lasered. I said if this was an option I'm sure the doc would have offered it. Lots of people saying I'm in good hands, this is one of the best if not the best. I mentioned to Dad that Ces doesn't have all their emails. But that news is sure to be passed on. I don't know how satisfied he was with that. He asked me why the titas traveled all that way and stayed for a short time. How am I supposed to know? I said maybe because they do have a long way to go. I hope no drama goes on. Cecile didn't even tell A. Des yet.

I feel OK and think I'm wasting the staff's time and the hospital bed, even insurance money. If I had a chance to see the kids perform then I'd rather be there. BTW, Cecile's my healthcare proxy. I knew her celphone by heart. I'm sure they can discuss my medical status if needed to make an informed decision. Ces knows I wouldn't want to be kept alive by artificial means. Pull the Plug! DNR! If I'm brain-dead. Hopefully, she won't have to make that decision anytime soon.

I just thought of somethings: are they going to catheterize me? How many in surgical team? How long's the prep? Side effects from GA? How long out? How soon woken? Will I be restrained? ICU? or Nursing unit? How soon up? Therapies? Precautions? Wound Care? How do they crack my head open?

I already asked one resident yesterday: 5 % chance of infection. I better tell them again, NO MRSA/VRE/C.Diff.

Doc said I could lie on it, but will probably avoid it anyway.
Quick passing thought: Why do the titas act so awkward and uncomfortable around us?

Funny how I complimented Takiya (Lora's student) on her short haircut. I may end up with that.

I wish I got a pedicure. Ugly toes and nails.

I should get a massage when all this is over. Paige felt bad for working on my neck that day; I'm sure it couldn't have hurt.

Resident said they'll talk to Dr. Bruce to see what the plan is. They're trying to videofax the images to him. Rick said conference sounds like a vacation. Maybe docs are golfing.

I asked Rick if he wanted me to work; I just need a ride. He said I had some sense of humor. I said I offered to take Deb's Saturday but he said Wayne's coming back that day. I said I can't handle a craniotomy and Wayne in one week.

Janel asked what I wanted them to tell patients. I said that my brain got too big so I'm getting a reduction, a minor procedure. I don't play around; I go straight for the brain surgery. Anyway, there's no harm in telling people. I need all the love and support I can get. She said I am a nut. I blame the tumor. Or the meds. She said that's why she stays blonde. I should milk this. I even offered to freak out at work and try to make Rick's eyes bug out. The plan to bring Rick down is in place. Just kidding. He'll just be fun to play with. Paige said he'll probably smother me.

I feel weaker being in here. Plus paranoid about infections.