One of our administrative assistants loves musicals like I do. She works on Saturdays and inevitably, encounters problems with the computer or the printer. Or she has questions about certain patients or about the schedule. She has taken to leaving copious notes for our main admin. person. They're funny and creative. I copied last week's note because I had a starring role in it. Here it is:

"I was going to spray a little perfume on this paper like Sandy in Grease when she sang Hopelessly Devoted to You, but sadly we only have air freshener. So you will just have to imagine some perfume.
But seriously, -is there some key to getting the printer to work on Saturday? I tried turning it on and off, pushing more buttons, then I hit it dramatically, ran out of the room and then back again. The printer and I sang a love/break-up duet and still nothing. Please tell me the trick to printer usage. I will ask Lani...
who by the way is dressed slightly inappropriately for work. The outfit of the Dr. from Rocky Horror is fine (although a little chilly today) but the heels were way too high for work. Flats would have been better and safer for the patients.

Neither Lani nor D-- could fix the printer. I promptly fired them both. Apparently, I have no authority to do that, so they are unfortunately still employed despite their lack of printer fixing skills (Lani even tried breaking the other printer out of spite). All of this was done WITHOUT music or dancing.

D-- and Lani did re-enact the gang fight scene from West Side Story. They tied themselves together at the wrist and pulled out plastic butter knives. I'm not sure who was a Jet or a Shark, but the whole thing was over a fax cover sheet. Crazy!

I pulled charts, again without the aid of a printout and filed. I tried to do more, but Lani would not stop her one woman show. She danced and sang from all different musicals, sometimes switching from character to character. The one woman duets were the best. The dancing was confusing though. It is hard to dance with yourself. She is an excellent Evita. The solo from Cats was creepy, mostly because she was crawling around like a cat. I was impressed with the Dreamcoat she fastened from different colored copy paper. That was impressive. She might want to take her show on the road.

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