• Dear Lord, please give me the strength to not slap an idiot today.
  • I don't need anger management...I need people to stop pissing me off.
  • If you can afford alcohol and cigarettes, you don't need food stamps.
  • Have you ever looked at someone and automatically felt annoyed?
  • I'm not a bitch. I just have a low tolerance for bullshit.
  • I have PMS, and I have a GPS...which means I'm a bitch, and I will find you.
  • Don't like me? F*&^ off. Problem solved.

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