Mathoms, etc.

Every year at this time, we keep hearing "Peace on Earth, Good will to all men." But we'll never get real peace globally because we don't have it within our own family units. Collectively, we're all carrying baggage and negative emotions, which we usually perceive as brought upon by other people around us. Instead of owning up to our part in the argument, fight, what-have-you. We keep perpetuating the problems and negativity in our minds, casting ourselves as the victims of the situation.
I've come to the conclusion that most families are dysfunctional, just to varying degrees. There are people holding grudges and refusing to forgive; people blaming other people, imagining slights when none was intended, isolating themselves instead of coming together as a family. And I'm not just talking about blood relatives. Even your friends are part of your family... sometimes they ARE your family. I have a friend who'll be celebrating the holidays alone. You're lucky if you get to CHOOSE to stay home alone and eat all by your lonesome, but if you're forced by circumstance then it's another story. It's easy to take things and people for granted. I'm blessed that I have family close by, but I understand that even they can't be around all the time. Because that's life. Everyone has things to do, places to go. But one can't just give up on them and stop trying to see or talk to them. You can't blame someone for not making an effort when you yourself aren't doing anything. I have a friend who'll call me every now and then, most of the time just leaving a message saying that he's just saying hello. That I don't need to call him back, he was just thinking of me. I was (still am) quite shy. Sometimes I can't understand how I got to have as many friends as I have now. (And believe me, they're not that many.) I appreciate and cherish each and every single one of my friends and family members even more. Especially after the kind of year I've had. I look forward to every encounter and I thank God.
I have another friend whose sister and brother-in-law bilked her of money from a business transaction gone bad. Where are they now? She forgave her, moved across the state to live near her, and now they get to see their children grow up together. We keep hearing that forgiveness doesn't mean that what someone did is OK; it's just that YOU'RE letting go of whatever negative thoughts you have about the situation. And you are all the better for it. It takes more out of you to hold on to that anger or even worse, indifference.

Reconciling in the spirit of the season, even for just a brief moment, maybe just for a shared meal. Is that a bad thing? Is that hypocritical? Not at all. Getting together to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ? How COULD it be? Even enemy combatants observe a ceasefire around the holidays. Because that's what Jesus preached, loving the unlovable, accepting the unacceptable, forgiving the unforgivable. That's what made Him so dangerous in the eyes of the priests and other authority figures. Because He was seeking to unite instead of divide.

A thousand-mile journey begins with a single step. Because if you do take that single step and at least try to put all ill feelings aside, then you're already on the road to compassion and understanding. Ever since our falling-out with our father (we've settled into an uneasy truce), I keep hearing the voice of my wise sister Lynn saying that everything that happened, everything that he said, did or didn't do, was coming from a place of pain. It was very astute of her to put herself in his shoes, stand back from her emotions and pre-conceived ideas, and develop true sympathy or empathy for him.

If only we could all get into this mindset. That would be a real Christmas miracle. Merry Christmas everyone. Keep your loved ones close, and let them know they are loved.