5.26.2008 Monday

Day started out early because of the mass at the Abbey. I even showered! We were there a little after 8 because we missed the entrance to the place. Latin mass offered in thanksgiving for me! I took Communion even though I haven't gone to confession in years. It gives me strength. I met Sister Maria again, she didn't know I was going to be there. She took my address.

We had breakfast at Dottie's Diner. A. Des and her family were going to Mg. Chona's for their family gathering. Mama Elsa's sisters are in town. We went home for a bit of rest before going to T. Annie's. Swung by Stop n Shop for flowers and fruits for the bday girl and the patient. Had a nice pleasant lunch there. T. Efren looks good, he even gave us a garden tour/botany lesson. When we got back inside, he started talking to Daddy about medical appointments/taking care of himself. Dad started getting agitated, saying how hard it is to get appts/medical records, how he wants to go back to his cardiologist in Brooklyn. T. Efren got him to calm down, being the good psychiatrist that he is. I probably could have handled it better, because I kept piping in just to say that we do plan on getting him his check-up after my doctor's visit Tuesday. That Lynn can drive him.

So we left, he was all quiet. Mom and Lynn wanted to go Bed, Bath and beyond so we did. He lingered outside, talked to T. Myrna and told Mom he was going to Staten. He didn't like how his kids talked to him. They went to Best Buy while I stayed in the car with the parents. Awkward much? We got back to Cecile's house and he was on the phone forever. He was going to SI tomorrow....I can't take him because I just had surgery. He didn't speak to anyone of us. I texted A. Des to forewarn her because they were stopping by after their party.

They got here after 7 PM and we had dinner. Daddy told K. Rene that he had been having chest pains but nobody paid him any mind. First I heard of it! They started talking about doctors, insurances, etc. I gave him all his doctors' phone numbers and tried to explain that we do plan on getting him seen by doctors. He's just too stubborn to listen to us and wants things his way. Things quickly got out of hand as he lost his temper. He kept saying he's going to his siblings because they'll take care of him, unlike his children. He brought up other new issues, borne out of his insecurities. Things that cannot be taken back. I never expected to have a falling-out with my father. Hissyfit II 2008.

Thank God K. Rene and A. Des were there. They calmed him down, and took him home. For the first time since my whole hospital ordeal, I cried. For the sad pathetic man my father has become. For the seemingly bad daughter I had become. I don't even want to be in the same car with him tomorrow. I knew deep down that I didn't want him here for my surgery or after, and tonight's events proved me right. I was angry and sad, but felt righteous. After my surgery, I cast out what is broken and unhealthy in my life.



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