Mathoms, etc.

Patients frequently ask me why I'm single, what am I looking for or what am I waiting for. I came up with this partial list:
funny
decent, compassionate and has integrity
responsible and hard working...OK who am I kidding? wealthy so my lazy ass can stay home!
honest and faithful
attractive enough but not too much that people will whisper behind our backs how did I snag such a good looking guy
someone I can discuss and read books with
perhaps an only child so I won't have to deal with in-laws :)
someone who'll watch movies, plays and musicals with me
loves his family and mine
preferably someone who can sing or play a musical instrument, maybe even write music :)
loves to travel
an excellent cook
a British accent couldn't hurt :)
someone who'll clean the house, do laundry and other chores, be handy around the house
preferably know how to fix cars
go to museums with me
decorate the house
maybe take me away to Europe for good
choose/buy clothes for me

*gets a sinking feeling as I realize*

EGADS! I'm either looking for a personal assistant or a gay guy! I'm doomed!