Mathoms, etc.

The past 2 weeks, I've been feeling out of sorts. Cranky at work, tired, occasionally with discomfort in my neck, shoulders and forearms. I just thought I was getting tendinitis in my arms from doing too many manual therapies on the job. Out of curiosity, I decided to try Reiki. I had my first (and probably not the last) Reiki session last night. The practitioner was a nurse, and from the looks of it, possibly a Wiccan. I didn't know what to expect, because I had heard that some practitioners don't even touch you. My practical side thought why pay someone if they're not even going to touch you. Someone I knew said she didn't really feel anything except being relaxed after.

Before we started, Jodi spent a lot of time explaining what Reiki is and isn't. Turns out she does laying of the hands, if you give your permission. And that she works with crystals, either having me hold them or her placing them on some body part. During a session, some people feel warmth, some a cold breeze. Some people even fall asleep. Some burst out crying. What she wanted me to get out of the experience was to spend some time taking care of myself. And that while it may not be a healing session, it will at least balance the chakras. Any imbalance in our energies can cause disease and other physical problems. The technique uses the practitioner to channel energy from the Source (or God) through her hands to wherever she feels compelled to direct this energy to.

One stays fully clothed except for shoes. I laid down on my back on a heated massage table. She laid a chakra blanket over me. She said a prayer,and asked me to also say a prayer to God, or angels, or any other spirits that I pray to in my spiritual practice. She warned me that she usually starts with the eyes. From the moment she touched my eyes, I felt as if I was moving side to side. I felt warmth and tingling in my hands. She stayed on my head and shoulders for a bit, especially my third eye. I continued to feel like the table was moving. Once in a while I'd hear her blow a breath out, or whisper something, or she'd wave or brush her hands away, as if discarding any energies in her hands.

Jodi told me that when she lays hands, it's only light pressure. But her hands felt heavier in certain areas. What was even more interesting, she'd be on my left, yet it felt like she was also touching me on the right. Sometimes I don't think she was even touching me but it felt like she was. It was relaxing, but half of me wanted to sleep while the other half wanted to stay present and feel all the sensations. What was weirdest was when she came to my chest, she didn't touch me at all, her hands just hovered. But I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. She spent some time there. Before moving on to my lower half, she put crystals on my chest and around my head and neck. She also spent some time on my abdomen, particularly where my fibroids are. Again, I noticed some shortness of breath. Which to me made sense, because in Eastern medicine, fibroids are a sign of stagnant or excess energy. By the time she got to my feet, my toes and feet were warm and tingly. I didn't want the session to end. She slowly brought me back to my physical body. I dangled at the edge of the table, gave me some water, and told me her impressions.

She asked me if I had had any neck surgery because my throat chakra felt cold. I told her I had a craniotomy, but she said it was in my neck and throat area. And it was the same sensation she would get working on people who had plates or any other hardware in their necks. She also said my heart chakra was so chaotic, that she became dizzy. She had to tell herself that this wasn't hers. I told her how I felt out of breath when she was there. She asked if any of this was resonating with me. I could understand the heart chakra since I know I'm angry at certain people. I'm irritated with patients and co-workers, even friends. And of course my dear old dad. The coldness in the throat I thought would explain the post nasal drip, the sore throat, the history of gingivitis. Psychologically, maybe my guilt for the whole brouhaha, or the lack of closure?

Then she gave me her explanation. She said I need to speak my truth. Since my surgeries, I've been more impatient and a little more vocal. But I never thought it was productive so sometimes, I'll just keep quiet because nothing changes anyway. But she said I should always say and ask what would be best for me, what would be for my highest good.

And as far as the heart chakra, it is the bridge between the lower and upper chakras. She said that for most people in health care or healing/helping professions, their heart chakras are all over the place. It is too open, because one wants to help people. But one has to find the balance between being too open, or just closed off. She suggested that I take more time for myself (which I think I do enough of, or too much of as it is). She even mentioned that old saying about the shoemaker's kids having no shoes.

By the time I left, most of my aches and pains were gone (until I went back to work today), but the heaviness in my chest remained. I know I've got a lot of work to do.