Mathoms, etc.

I've been going to meditation classes on Sunday before I go to Mass. I can't stop smiling afterwards. I go so deep now that I've been seeing colors. Call me crazy, but today, I actually felt I was being taken up into the clouds, into space. I think I even saw Jesus and Mother Mary :) (Actually, as I was driving to the studio, I had a sudden inspiration to go to Mass at the Divine Mercy Shrine in Massachusetts. That's probably where the Jesus and Mary vision came from.) Anyway, the teacher has been meditating all week on what we're worth and asked us to do the same. It didn't take me very long to decide that since God made us in His image, then we are priceless. And that's not the ego talking. If we don't believe that we are precious, then that would be an insult to our Creator. Being Catholic though, it can be hard to reconcile this with the teaching that we are all sinners, born sinners in fact. That's why I'm attracted to other religious disciplines that say we are holy, we are perfect the way we are. And we only have to look inward to find that divine spark.

But I digress. Anyway, although it was so hot, I enjoyed my drive up. The sun shining, beautiful scenery, wind blowing, and music playing as I sang along. I even took roads I don't normally take, just to see new things. I got back home, there was no running water. Then a text exchange with my sister really bugged me. It's crazy how easily one's peace of mind can be broken by life and our family/friends. We are only human. I guess that's part of spiritual practice, finding our way through little distractions, irritations, the noise and hassles of daily living.

Fostering one's spirituality is a tough task. I want to see God everywhere, in everyone and everything. It's not easy to make every moment a spiritual one. Anger is such a powerful emotion, and all logic easily lost in the face of it. Here's Sylvia Boorstein's introduction to her book Happiness is an Inside Job reprinted by Kripalu Online. She was speaking about restoring the mind to kindness.

As I type this, I remembered something my teacher said today. Something simple: she said to respect everyone. Do not judge. We judge because of our own expectations. Try to walk in other people's shoes or at least try to understand how they're thinking/feeling. She always gives her own experiences as examples. Her father criticizes her vegetarian-yogi lifestyle, saying she's too thin or needs to eat something. She just smiles. She got invited to a wedding yesterday and her friend got upset when she wouldn't go. She told her she can't stand the noise anymore. She's done her drinking, eating, dancing, etc. And she's past all that. She's been told she's anti-social, even strange and weird. But like Joy Behar would say, "so what, who cares?" All we can do is follow our hearts. When faced with any (especially a bad ) situation, we tend to hear people say "It is what it is." Even George Lucas had a version of this:"Well, what are you gonna do?" as he shrugged his shoulders or threw his hands up in the air. Like I posted on my Facebook page, "Let go, or be dragged." Let go of expectations of being this calm, serene person just because I've been meditating more or going to classes regularly instead of on my own. Let go of expectations of how people should react to any particular statement. We can only control our own thoughts. Everyone interprets or misinterprets messages and conversations depending on their own perceptions, values, temperaments. Let go of our ideas on how long we could stay in a funk. I'll stay in a bad mood as long as I'm in it. It's all a cycle anyway.

One word can summarize this philosophy: SURRENDER. A yoga teacher patient of mine put it brilliantly: It's yoga practice, not yoga perfect.