Mathoms, etc.

Ever meet someone who immediately gives off good vibes? Or sometimes, the opposite---energy drainers. (In JK Rowling's world, dementors.) Working in health care gives me many opportunities to meet both types everyday. I can almost sense who wants to get better and predict who will get better. I can even guess who has fibromyalgia. They fit a certain profile in my head. Especially patients in chronic pain or with multiple medical conditions who become so identified with their illnesses that it interferes with their healing. They're so used to rattling off their various ailments. Even though they say they want to get better, I feel their mind isn't really into it.

Medical intuitive and mystic Caroline Myss has a term for this: woundology. In her book Why People don't Heal, and How they Can, she made the observation that in the past, people were wary about expressing their emotional or psychological troubles and needs. Nowadays, it's become almost like a badge of honor. Certain personality types find value in dwelling on their issues. Not to minimize their suffering, but didn't Dr. Phil say that we teach people how to treat us? And that people do what works, waiting for the pay off. When people see themselves as victims, they perpetuate that notion in their lives and their family/friends respond appropriately. Ms. Myss said that a defeatist state of mind allows them to lead a life of minimum expectation and limited responsibility. They feel powerful relying on other people for help and guilt people into doing things for them. It is never their fault. It's always their illness, or whatever disorder or "wound" they're nursing. That's how psychologists and psychiatrists stay in business. "My parents were emotionally unavailable; I was called names or bullied in school; it's my mother's fault;I'm the victim here;I'm sick/was sick/still sick'', etc, etc.

I know how difficult it is to let go of personal traumas---physical, emotional or psychological. We're human after all. Ms. Myss quoted Buddha as having said that "My teachings are a raft meant to help you cross over the river. Once you get to the other shore, set them down and go on with your life." We're supposed to let go of our life stressors. Don't lug the raft (or baggage) around. Into each life, a little rain must fall. But we need not stay soaked and freezing cold.