Mathoms, etc.

5.23.2008 Friday

Woke up around 2 AM to go to the bathroom...Zack was there! Nagpapalamig siguro. He looks so worried. He was whining so I told him to come into the room. He slept there on and off. I tried to meditate, pray the rosary. I was trying to do ROM exercises 20 reps. Shocking how tired I got. I get weird feelings on my left hand, like numb or heavy. Hopefully it's nothing. My ears hurt from being squished. I was in and out of sleep. I have sore spots on my head, probably from being restrained. I texted Debbie how hard it is to do 20 reps or walk a few feet. Her typical response? "So what are you trying to say? U are going to be more sympathetic and nicer to your patients? I don't think you can...everyone knows u are the meanest, toughest PT." That was good for an early morning laugh.

I got up at 7 when Lynn got up. I was hungry. I took my Pepcid and had some Cocoa Krispies. Called New Century to report my surgery. Euge cooked breakfast later so I ate some more. They left around noon to pick up parents from airport. I was really tired, tried to write but mostly laid in bed. It's so easy to give in to the urge to stay in bed. Got up around 2 PM, decided to do laundry, just to try and stay up. I started feeling better. I got flowers from Dee and Keith. Earlier I got a text from Janel asking Cecile's address. I got irritated because Rick already had the address. A. Des and K. Rene did a surprise visit, bringing lunch from a Peruvian restaurant. The longer I stayed up, the better I felt. I still got short of breath, my right ear feels full. I get blurry/double vision every now and then, occasional throbbing. Just really weak and tired.

By 5 PM, parents were here. Good to see Mom and Dad. It's good they arrived when I'm home instead of being all staypuff marshmallow man in the hospital. Glad they're here. Dad even said he'll take his licensing test so he can drive me around. No mention of drama with titas. We updated Mom.

Still nervous about showering, a little freaked out about touching it although Lynn offered to wash it. I don't want anyone touching it either. We're taking Dad out for birthday lunch tomorrow then watching the kids' show. Maybe I'll wash it tonight so I won't have to deal with it tomorrow.

Moment of weakness: T. Nona called to check on me. She asked how my vision was so I said I haven't checked it. She started telling me how to do it, asked when it was supposed to come back. I said I don't know. It wasn't guaranteed to come back, then she started asking why not, why have the surgery then, etc. I tried to say it's only been a few days since surgery. We don't know. Then she started getting annoyed, pretended she couldn't hear me or the line was breaking up. She hung up after saying she'll just call again. I got so annoyed. I could have handled it better. It's like when I got mad when T. Flor asked why I was out of breath or tired. Or T. Iya getting annoyed that I didn't give the scapular to the docs during surgery. I might just be a worse post-op patient than pre-op.

I finished laundry, packed up my stuff. Stalled my shower until after 10 PM. I don't know why this is so daunting. Maybe because it makes it so real, the staples are there, it's not gonna be pleasant to the touch. I'll feel the bald spot. Plus I'm not sure how much pain I'll have. I took a Tylenol. I tried letting the water run but ended up using the tabo as per Cecile's suggestion. Took me a while and I didn't really scrub, especially the back and the right side of my head. Just ran baby shampoo through my hair. I was unsure how to rinse it or towel it. I was afraid to take my shirt off and put one back on. I almost got scissors to cut the shirt. Combing even with a wide-toothed comb was scary. I did the front then asked for help. Cecile mercifully did it. Kudos and muchos gracias! There were some yukky stuff she had to comb out too. Amazing she did it. Daily shampooing might not be something I'll do. Too freaky. Sat up for a while chatting with the 'rents. Got a little perturbed with Daddy's vitamin suggestions. I should be less nasty.